Reflections On Life ... & Death

This evening, boss went to one of my colleagues and told her that he has something to tell her and wonder if she can take the piece of news. He told her that he has just received news that Kenneth Tham just passed away. He was teaching in poly this afternoon when he just collapsed. We were all stunned and taken aback by the news.

My boss has send my colleague to Bangkok last week to take care of the needs of one big group of golfers who were representing Singapore tourism industry for a golf competition. Kenneth was one of them and they had just returned last tuesday. The news of his death affected her more because he was once her lecturer.

His death has certainly reminded me that life is short and unpredicted. You never know when the Lord will take you home. Kenneth is pretty young .. in his 40s i suppose. These few years, there have been many births as well as deaths around me. There have been many joyous occassions as well as sad moments. I have also visited different people in hospitals for various reasons.

In the past, i used to think very little about issues on life and death. Not until things happen to the close ones around you. I have tried to answer the many 'Whys?' which my friends or even myself ask but ultimately, i guess only the Lord can answer that for me.

Like many, i have my own sets of fears and worries. I used to tell God that there is no way he is going to let me go through problems alone. But i am assured because of this:

Footprints in the Sand
Along the path of life, i see only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The LORD replied:

"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

I guess as i get older, my perspective of life changes as well. In the past, it was about working hard and i thought working long hours was the 'ín' thing. After all, i have so many friends who work late. Just take a peep out of the window and most lights in the buildings around raffles place are still on. After all, it's the norm amongst friends working in the financial and advertising industry.

Not that i don't work hard now, i still do. But truthfully, i think not as hard as before definedly. Work is work and play is play. I realised the importance of having a balanced life and try not to stay late unless necessary. And very importantly, i want to have the time to do God's work. It's more meaningful. I don't know when it all started but i realised the difference in me before and then. In the past, i will look forward to extending my trip over the weekends if i am outstation. But right now, i will be happy to be back by sat. Maybe it's different priorities i suppose.

As i was heading home just now, i also bumped into an old friend, Christina whom i met when i first started work. She was telling me that we should not work so hard. We need to enjoy ourselves. Afterall, life is not abt work. It's not worth it. Hmm .. how timely! Reminder from an old friend.

One thing which i have also learnt is try not to wait or postpone certain things if there is a prompting in my heart. Once, i was driving and i stopped at the traffic light near Novena Square. At that moment, something in me told me that i should stop by at Ren Ci Hospital to visit my granduncle. After all, i have not visited him for awhile. There was this urge which was pretty strong. But somehow, i just drove passed it and headed home instead. I told myself ... nevermind .. next time perhaps since i am quite tired.

The next time never came. Coz. when i reached home, i felt something strange coz. no one was home. I usually don't call and ask where my parents are but that day, something in me told me to. I called mom and she told me that she just rushed to the hospital coz. they called to say that grand-uncle just passed away. Can you imagine ... the guilt that i have, the pain, the regret the sorrow. When i rushed down, he was already dead. Lesson learnt yet again.